The Guilt of Asking: Unlearning and Turning to Allah

In many cultures, we are taught from a young age that asking for anything—whether big or small—is wrong. Even something as simple as asking for a sweet, a toy, or help with a task can be met with disapproval. We are made to feel that asking is shameful, that it is a sign of weakness or greed, and in some cases, as if it is haram (forbidden). Over time, this conditioning shapes our behaviour, making us hesitant to reach out, even when we truly need something.

This deeply ingrained belief doesn’t just affect our interactions with people—it affects our relationship with Allah. If we have been raised to think that seeking help is wrong, we may struggle to ask Allah for anything, even in Du’ā. We might hesitate, thinking, Should I really be asking for this? Is my request too small? Am I being ungrateful? Should I just handle this on my own?

But Allah does not see our asking as a burden—He sees it as worship. The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Whoever does not ask Allah, He becomes angry with him.” (Tirmidhi)

Unlike people, Allah never tires of giving. The more we ask, the more He responds. The more we turn to Him, the closer He draws us to Him. Our hesitations in making Du’ā often stem from our experiences with people, but healing begins when we unlearn the fear of asking and replace it with trust in Allah’s mercy.

Asking Allah is not a sign of weakness—it is an act of faith. It is a recognition that we are never alone, that our needs matter, and that the One who provides for the entire creation will never turn us away empty-handed.

— Faatimah M