Polygamy: When It’s About Ego, Not Ethics
In today’s world, a lot of men express the desire to have more than one wife. While polygamy is allowed in Islam, the intention behind it is everything. And what we’re seeing more often than not, especially in cases of emotional or narcissistic abuse, is that the desire for multiple wives is not rooted in the Sunnah or true responsibility—it’s rooted in control, ego, and entitlement.
Many of these men are not looking to fulfil the rights of multiple women or to build spiritually enriching, balanced households. They’re looking for more emotional supply—more admiration, more obedience, more women to stroke their ego and give them a sense of power. It becomes a game of dominance, masked in religious justifications.
They may say they want to “revive the Sunnah,” but forget the conditions of that Sunnah:
• Absolute justice between wives
• Financial, emotional, and physical ability to provide for each
• Kindness, mercy, and transparency
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ never married for lust. Each of his marriages had a wisdom behind it—often social, political, or to care for widows or build community ties. He never used marriage as a weapon to emotionally destroy or manipulate anyone.
Today, many men don’t even fulfil the rights of one wife—emotionally, financially, or spiritually. Yet, they crave more. Why? Not because they are capable. But because having multiple women boosts their fragile ego. It gives them more supply, more attention, more control.
This dynamic often appears in narcissistic or emotionally immature men. They are not driven by deen or responsibility. They are driven by scarcity, insecurity, and the need to be constantly admired. So they seek multiple women to feed that void. It’s not about building families—it’s about feeding the self.
Polygamy Is Rare for a Reason
Let’s be honest: very few men today can do justice to polygamy in the way Allah intended. That’s why even the Qur’ān says:
“But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one…”
(Surah An-Nisa: 3)
Justice isn’t just about rotating nights or buying equal gifts. It’s about the deep emotional responsibility of holding two (or more) women in love, dignity, and fairness without causing harm to either.
Culturally, in many societies today, polygamy isn’t even a norm anymore. The social, emotional, and economic structures of modern life don’t support it easily. In fact, in some cultures, it’s abused under the name of religion while ignoring the ethical foundation of it.
The Truth? They Want More Power, Not More Responsibility
When a man who can’t even communicate properly, show emotional maturity, or provide security for one woman starts talking about taking a second wife, it’s not about Islam. It’s about control.
And when he uses Islam to justify it, while not upholding the rest of the deen with the same energy, it becomes manipulation.
So to the women hearing this: you are not wrong to question it. You are not wrong to look at the intention. You are not wrong to want to be honoured, not divided.
Polygamy is not a playground for broken egos.
It is a divine responsibility for the rare few who can truly embody justice, compassion, and mercy—with complete transparency and mutual consent.
If he can’t fulfil the rights of one woman, he has no business talking about two.