O Allah, Just Give Me One Sign That He’s Not a Narcissist…

How many signs did you need?

How many times did your heart whisper the truth before you silenced it?

How many times did Allah show you, but you begged Him for one more sign?

Was the constant anxiety in your chest not enough?

That uneasy feeling that never left, the way your body always felt on edge,

waiting for the next mood shift, the next accusation, the next silent treatment?

Didn’t you notice how your nervous system was always in survival mode?

Was the way they twisted your words and made you question reality not enough?

You started recording conversations in your mind just to remind yourself

that you weren’t crazy .But somehow, every argument ended with you apologising, even when you knew deep down, it wasn’t your fault.

Was the exhaustion from over-explaining yourself not enough?

The way you had to break down the simplest emotions like a lawyer in a courtroom, proving why you had the right to feel hurt, why you weren’t overreacting, why their actions were unfair—only to be met with dismissal or blame.

Was their need for attention from everyone but you not enough?

They could charm a room, make strangers feel like the most important people in the world, but when it came to you?

You were invisible—unless they needed something.

Was the way they disappeared when you needed them most not enough?

The silent treatments.

The vanishing acts.

The cold indifference when you were breaking.

Yet, you still defended them, telling yourself,

“They’re just going through something…”

Was the humiliation they put you through—publicly or privately—not enough?

The subtle digs.

The cruel jokes at your expense.

The way they made sure to tear you down in front of others, but the moment you stood up for yourself, you became the problem.

Was the apology that never came, or the one that meant nothing, not enough?

The fake “I’m sorry” with no accountability.

The apologies that came only when they feared losing control.

The cycle of hurt, “sorry,” and repeat.

And somehow, you kept believing in their “next time.”

Was the way you felt like a burden every time you had emotions not enough?

If you were upset, you were “too sensitive.”

If you expressed your needs, you were “too much.”

If you cried, you were “dramatic.”

Yet, they were allowed to rage, withdraw, and manipulate—without consequence.

Was the gut feeling that something was deeply wrong not enough?

That ache inside you that whispered, “This isn’t love.”

The way your soul knew, but your heart didn’t want to accept it.

How many times did you push it down, convincing yourself you were overthinking?

Was the way you lost yourself trying to love them not enough?

You weren’t always this anxious.

You weren’t always walking on eggshells.

You weren’t always questioning your worth.

But they chipped away at you, piece by piece, until you became a version of yourself you barely recognised.

You always knew.

But knowing is one thing.

Choosing yourself is another.

And now, it’s time.

To stop waiting for another sign.

To stop hoping they will change.

To stop betraying yourself for the sake of keeping them.

You already have the sign.

It’s been in your heart all along.

Now, choose you.