Why Does It Feel Like Allah Isn’t Helping?

When you’re making du’ā for your situation with the narcissist to change, yet nothing seems to improve, it can feel like Allah isn’t answering. But the truth is, He is answering—you just may not be recognising the way He is guiding you. Allah gives you many signs, many opportunities to leave, and many answers, but your own codependency can keep you stuck. And when you stay, despite all the doors Allah opens for you, you can’t blame Him for your suffering.

Often, we mistake staying as an act of righteousness. We convince ourselves that we are being dutiful to our husband, practicing sabr, or enduring our test. But that’s not what sabr means. A test isn’t meant to last forever. It’s something you go through, persevere in, and then pass. Just like an exam—you don’t sit with the same test paper indefinitely. You write the exam using the tools Allah gives you so that you can move forward.

One of the most dangerous traps is mistaking this suffering as something from Allah, when in reality, it’s not. Allah is nudging you toward something better, but the narcissist thrives on making you believe that staying in pain is somehow noble. This is exactly what they want—because eventually, it leads to you blaming Allah. And once that happens, your imān weakens. You start questioning Allah, having a bad opinion of Him, and feeling abandoned. That’s when the narcissist, their Qareen, and Shaytaan win. Because that was the plan all along—to break your faith, to make you lose hope, and to pull you away from Allah.

It’s a dangerous game. And the longer you stay blind to it, the more you risk your imān.