Ramadhān vs. the Narcissist: A Spiritual Battle
If you’ve ever dealt with a narcissist, you may have noticed that their behaviour seems to escalate during Ramadhān. While this is a time of spiritual purification, increased worship, and striving for self-control, narcissists often become more irritable, manipulative, and aggressive. But why does this happen?
1. Ramadhān Exposes Their Lack of Spirituality
Ramadhān is a time when sincere believers turn inward, working on their connection with Allah and striving to better themselves. Narcissists, however, struggle with any form of self-reflection. Their sense of superiority and arrogance prevents them from acknowledging their flaws, let alone working on them. When they see others sincerely engaging in ibadah (worship) and self-improvement, it reminds them of their own emptiness, which frustrates them.
2. They Can’t Handle the Loss of Control
Narcissists thrive on control—whether it’s over people, situations, or their own desires. Ramadhān encourages submission to Allah, self-discipline, and breaking free from the hold of the nafs (lower self). This goes against everything a narcissist values. The act of fasting itself—denying oneself food, drink, and desires for the sake of Allah—is a direct challenge to their inability to control their impulses. This makes them more restless, angry, and even more manipulative than usual.
3. Their Qareen (Evil Companion) Becomes More Active
We know that the devils (shayateen) are chained during Ramadhān, but the Qareen—the personal jinn assigned to every human—remains. For a narcissist, their Qareen has already gained significant influence over them due to their deep arrogance and disconnection from Allah. With the external devils restrained, their own Qareen becomes their main source of evil whisperings. The narcissist’s unrepentant heart allows their Qareen to fuel their resentment, jealousy, and rage even more.
4. They Hate Seeing Others Strengthen Their Faith
During Ramadhān, true believers grow in imān (faith), taqwā (God-consciousness), and reliance on Allah. This is something that deeply angers a narcissist because they thrive on making others weak, insecure, and dependent on them. Seeing someone breaking free from their emotional and psychological grip—by seeking Allah’s strength—feels like a personal threat to them. They will often criticise, belittle, or create drama just to shift focus away from spirituality.
5. They Use Religion as a Weapon
Many narcissists will try to manipulate the deen to maintain control. They might shame you for not doing “enough” acts of worship, criticize your intentions, or make you feel guilty about your efforts. They will pretend to be more religious themselves, performing outward acts of worship to maintain their false image, while behind closed doors, they continue their toxic behaviour.
6. They Struggle With Gratitude and Sincerity
Ramadhān teaches gratitude, patience, and sincerity—all qualities narcissists lack. They cannot stand seeing others feeling fulfilled, at peace, or content with what Allah has given them. Their envy increases when they see people experiencing the spiritual beauty of Ramadhān, and they will often try to disrupt that peace in any way they can.
How to Protect Yourself From a Narcissist in Ramadhān
• Focus on Your Own Worship – Do not allow their negativity to distract you from your ibadah.
• Seek Refuge in Allah – Increase your dhikr and du’ās for protection from toxic influences.
• Ignore Their Provocations – Narcissists will try to bait you into arguments to ruin your peace. Do not engage.
• Strengthen Your Boundaries – Do not let them guilt-trip you into tolerating abuse under the guise of “patience” or “forgiveness.”
• Trust Your Intuition – If you feel their presence is harming your spiritual journey, take the necessary steps to distance yourself.
A narcissist’s worsening behaviour in Ramadhān is not a coincidence—it’s a result of their resistance to everything this blessed month stands for. Their arrogance, lack of self-control, and disconnection from Allah become more evident, and their attempts to manipulate and control others become more desperate. But remember, Ramadhān is a time of spiritual liberation. Protect your peace, strengthen your faith, and leave toxic people in Allah’s hands.
For more info on this subject, listen to The Muslim Narcissist Podcast by Dr Mona Alyedreessy on YouTube.