People Treat You Based on How They Feel About You—Be Careful What You Accept

One of the most profound realisations in life is understanding that people’s treatment of you is often a reflection of their true feelings towards you—not their words, not their promises, but their actions. If someone truly respects and values you, their behaviour will show it. If they don’t, no matter how much they try to mask it with sweet words or empty gestures, their actions will always reveal the truth.

This is why it is crucial to be mindful of what you tolerate, what you accept, and what you allow to continue in your relationships—whether it’s in family, friendships, or marriage.

1. People Show You Who They Are—Believe Them

When someone continuously dismisses your feelings, belittles your efforts, or makes you feel insignificant, they are showing you exactly how they feel about you. It doesn’t matter what excuses they give—whether they blame stress, their past, or claim they “didn’t mean it”—their consistent treatment of you is a reflection of how much or how little they value you.

Too often, people cling to hope that things will change, that “deep down” someone loves and respects them, even when their actions say otherwise. But the truth is, how someone feels about you is not hidden; it’s in their behaviour, in their tone, in the way they show up (or fail to) when you need them.

If someone only remembers you when they need something, if they invalidate your emotions, if they treat you as replaceable—believe them.

2. You Teach People How to Treat You by What You Accept

Every time you tolerate disrespect, neglect, or dishonesty, you are subconsciously teaching that person that their behaviour is acceptable. People push boundaries to see what they can get away with. The more you tolerate, the more they assume they can continue treating you the same way.

It’s not about being harsh or cutting people off at the first mistake. It’s about recognizing patterns and understanding that people will only rise to the standard you hold for yourself.

If you continue to make excuses for mistreatment, you send the message that you are willing to endure it. But if you set boundaries and refuse to accept anything less than respect, you show people that they must treat you with dignity or lose access to you.

3. The Wrong People Will Test Your Boundaries—The Right People Will Respect Them

Not everyone in your life deserves a place in your heart. Some people will only stay because they benefit from your kindness, not because they genuinely care for you.

The wrong people will:

• Guilt-trip you when you set boundaries

• Act offended when you demand respect

• Try to manipulate you into tolerating poor treatment

• Disregard your feelings while expecting you to prioritise theirs

The right people, however, will honour your boundaries, respect your emotions, and cherish your presence. They will never make you feel like you need to beg for basic decency, kindness, or love.

4. Your Worth is Not Determined by Others’ Opinions

Many people accept mistreatment because they are afraid of being alone, afraid of losing people, or afraid of confrontation. But remember this: your worth does not come from how others treat you—it comes from Allah.

Allah created you with dignity, honour, and value. You were not created to be a doormat for others to walk over. You were not created to beg for love, for attention, or for respect.

In Surah Al-Isra (17:70), Allah says:

“And We have certainly honoured the children of Adam…”

Your dignity was given to you by Allah, and no one has the right to take it away. If someone cannot see your worth, that is their blindness, not your deficiency.

5. Protect Your Energy, Protect Your Heart

You do not have to stay in spaces where you are tolerated instead of celebrated. You do not have to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you. You do not have to fight for a place in someone’s life when they continuously show you that they don’t truly value you.

Guard your heart. Guard your peace. Protect your energy. The more you allow toxic energy into your life, the more it will drain you, diminish your self-worth, and take you further away from the life Allah wants for you.

Final Reminder: You Set the Standard

People will treat you according to what they feel for you. If they respect you, they will show it. If they don’t, they will also show it. Your job is not to convince people to love you, respect you, or treat you right. Your job is to recognise what you deserve and refuse to accept anything less.

Let your presence be a privilege, not a convenience. Let your boundaries be firm, not negotiable. And most importantly, know that when you value yourself, the right people will rise to meet you, and the wrong ones will naturally fall away.

May Allah bless you with people who treat you with kindness, sincerity, and love, and may He remove from your life those who do not. Ameen.