The Difference Between Indian Cultural Expectations and Islamic Teachings on Women’s Empowerment

In many parts of Indian culture, the expectations placed on women are often rooted in a deeply ingrained belief that a woman’s worth is tied to how much she sacrifices for others, particularly within her family. From a young age, girls are taught to put the needs of others before their own. The idea of being codependent—relying on others, particularly men, for emotional validation, direction, and support—is normalised in many households. This creates an environment where women feel they must suppress their own desires, opinions, and needs to serve the family, often leading to an unhealthy dependency.

However, Islam offers a stark contrast. It honours women as individuals with unique rights, responsibilities, and capabilities, empowering them to make decisions for themselves, seek education, pursue careers, and maintain their autonomy. Let’s break this down to truly understand why Islam is different and how it teaches strength, empathy, and resilience:

1. The Cultural Mould of Codependency in Indian Society

In many traditional Indian households, a girl’s upbringing involves being molded into a caretaker role. She is often taught to be submissive, self-sacrificing, and dependent on male figures (such as fathers, brothers, or husbands) for validation and direction. From a very young age, she is conditioned to think that her happiness is secondary to the needs of others.

This cultural programming encourages women to overlook their own desires for the sake of others, to accept mistreatment, and to remain in situations that are emotionally or physically harmful in the name of “family honour” or “sacrifice.” This leads to a codependent relationship dynamic, where the woman feels emotionally dependent on others for a sense of worth, often sacrificing her own mental and emotional health in the process.

2. The Empowering Teachings of Islam

Islam, however, honors women by emphasizing their strength, dignity, and individual rights. The teachings of the Qur’an and the Sunnah offer a framework for a woman to be both empathetic and empowered, with a deep sense of self-respect and autonomy.

A woman in Islam is taught to be strong in her faith and self-reliant, while still maintaining her sense of compassion and empathy for others.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught us that women are equals in the eyes of Allah in terms of worth, respect, and their role in society. Women are not seen as subordinates or as being inferior. In fact, the Prophet ﷺ said:

“The best of you are those who are the best to their women.”

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi)

This hadith beautifully encapsulates the Islamic view that women are to be treated with the utmost respect and kindness, not as possessions or afterthoughts. Islam acknowledges the emotional depth and strength of women, affirming their ability to make decisions and be active participants in society.

3. Islam and the Strength of Women

While Indian culture may often teach women to suppress their needs in the name of sacrifice, Islam encourages women to recognise their inherent worth and place value on their own emotional and spiritual well-being. Islam recognises that women have unique emotional strengths, but it also teaches that they have the right to seek fulfilment, whether through education, career, or spiritual growth.

The Qur’an repeatedly calls for women to engage in their own personal development and offers guidance on how to be strong, resilient, and balanced.

For example, Allah says in Surah An-Nisa (4:1):

“O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women.”

This emphasises the equality of men and women in the sight of Allah, highlighting that women are not dependent beings, but rather equal partners in the mission of life.

4. Empathy, But Not Self-Sacrifice

Islam teaches empathy—the importance of kindness, patience, and compassion toward others, especially family members. However, unlike the expectations of many traditional cultures, Islam does not condone self-sacrifice to the point of self-destruction. Women are not required to give up their own well-being for the sake of others. Instead, they are encouraged to maintain a balance between taking care of others and caring for themselves.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“The strong person is not the one who can overpower others, but the one who controls himself when angry.”

(Sahih al-Bukhari)

This speaks to the internal strength Islam encourages, where a woman is empowered to protect her peace, dignity, and mental health, even if that means setting boundaries with others. She is also encouraged to speak up for her rights and not allow herself to be oppressed.

5. Codependency vs. Empowerment

In contrast to the codependent mold taught in certain cultural contexts, Islam encourages women to foster their own connection with Allah and to develop their individual strengths. Women in Islam are not viewed as needing to rely on others to feel validated. Their primary reliance is on Allah—and from this source of ultimate strength, they gain the courage and ability to stand tall, independent, and strong.

It’s important to understand that in Islam, seeking help from others is not a weakness. The Prophet ﷺ said:

“If you ask, ask Allah, and if you seek help, seek help from Allah.”

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi)

Islam teaches that true empowerment comes from Allah, and that by nurturing one’s relationship with Allah, a woman is able to develop a strength that is unshakable, rooted in faith.

6. Honoring Women in Islam

In Islamic history, we find countless examples of strong, independent women who were leaders, scholars, and warriors—from Aisha (RA), who was a scholar and narrator of hadith, to Khadijah (RA), a businesswoman who was a powerful supporter of the Prophet ﷺ. These women were empowered, confident, and self-sufficient, yet still compassionate, empathetic, and nurturing. They did not conform to the oppressive standards of culture, but rather embodied the true strength and dignity that Islam offers.

While certain cultural practices in Indian society may encourage women to suppress their identities in the name of family duty or societal expectations, Islam offers a framework that celebrates the strength, autonomy, and worth of women. Islam teaches that women are worthy of respect, dignity, and honour and that they should never feel the need to diminish themselves for the sake of others.

True empowerment in Islam is found when a woman recognises that her value does not depend on being codependent or sacrificing herself but rather in being a person who stands firm in her faith, her rights, and her well-being. It’s when she embraces the balance between empathy for others and strength for herself, always remembering that her primary worth comes from Allah.

May Allah grant us the wisdom to understand our true worth and empower us to live in accordance with the principles of Islam, free from oppression and full of strength. Ameen.